Singapore Hostel - Prince of Wales Backpackers Pub and Hostel

Monday, July 20, 2009

National Day Dance - By Jess The Dog

Singapore National Day is coming soon; August 9th, and Singapore turns 44. See Singapore was once part of a united Malaya, but Malaysia kicked out Singapore, and after a little cry, the big boss, Mr.Lee, rolled up his sleeves, waved cheerio to those across the causeway, and got on with creating a happy Singapore..and wow, it really took off! Instead of stuffing money under their beds in Malaysia, Brunei and Indonesia, everyone sent their cash to us to look after.. and Singapore was loved the world over! The Chinese admired our communism and the Americans loved our Capitalism, And... I'm not sure what either of those words mean, but i 'admire and love' Devine Doggy dog food, mmmm.

To celebrate National Day the boss is allowed to hang the Singapore flag two weeks before and two weeks after National Day or he gets into big trouble. So everyone is going to hang out their flag, and its beautiful. A sea of red and white with a little crescent moon and stars. It's romantic! And as part of the celebrations Singaporeans must learn the new National Day Dance, which everyone has to do including the men in the white uniforms. I love to do the Singapore dance. Two steps forward, one step back, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, arm out to the right, pick product off the shelve, into the shopping bag, two steps forward, one step back, shuffle, shuffle...I can hardly wait for this years new dance, woof!

One of my favourite things about the National Day Parade is when all the military is marched past us. It is very exciting, and it looks alot like the parades they have in North Korea, which are always on TV, so they must be

good!....But the best is the fireworks, wah, wah, wah...all the pretty lights in the sky. mmmm, I think i will now go to the bosses bedroom and snuggle up on my little mattress and dream of National Day Parade, counting the days.

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.
Love Jessica

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Sheep Rugby - By Jess The Dog

The big Rugby game between Australia - The Wallabies; And New Zealand - The All Blacks, is on the tele this Saturday 3.30pm at The POW, followed by Aussie/Kiwi band "Stingey Lil". I'm confused as to whom to bark for. I'm originally from Adelaide, brought to Singapore by a pet shop trader, who kept me in a 2m by 2m cell for four months until the boss found me. So, i should woof woof for Australia, but i love sheep, as does my Kiwi cousin "The Dog"in the photo; he loves to get very close to the sheep. And what is there not to love about New Zealand sheep?

It reminds me of a story of an Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand. He walks into the small town of Te Awamutu and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his border collie, and figures he'll have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak to him?"

Local: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog: "Doin' all right"

Local: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this fella your owner?" (pointing at the local)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. I get to run around the paddock, roll around in anything that's slowly rotting, and feeds me great food"

Local: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Local: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool"

Local: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the local)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. I get to run around the paddock, he brushes me down often and keeps me in the big shed to protect me from the elements."

Local: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Local: "The sheep's a liar"

Go The Wallabies!

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.
Love Jessica

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Singapore Girl - By Jess The Dog

Shopping is a sport in Singapore. There is always a sale, and it's very competitive. Even more competitive than our Chinese Ping Pong team! I sometimes get to go shopping too at the Killiney Road pet shop with the boss. When we go, I get to see all the nicely dressed ladies with shopping bags. The boss told me the way to a Singaporean girls heart is to buy her stuff. I said, "you mean like, give her a bone", but the boss said that comes later.

First you have to take her to dinner a couple of times, call her (not sms), remember the date of her birthday, favourite flower, favourite colour, and then to really top it off, a nice gift. By the way, what is a Prada? Is it a car? hmmm? woof! Then, the bosses new lady friend comes to visit us a real lot...
I like Singapore girls, they are nice to me. The boss cooks up the dinner and does the washing up because Singapore girls don't know how to do that. I like the way they enjoy dinner like me. We chew toget

her with our mouths wide open, smile and sometimes talk, all at the same time! I just want to jump on their lap and lick the food from the corner of their mouths.
After the boss has given her the tour of our house, which takes a couple of hours, he then takes her home to her parents house where she's lived for the entire 32 years of her life. Wow, I wish i could do that, but my mum lives on a sheep station in Adelaide.

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.
Love Jessica

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Soapland - By Jess the Dog

I love it when the boss takes me for healthy runs along the smelly Singapore river and the Botanical gardens. Did you know that Singapore is the health hub of Asia? It has to be because we have the most "Men's Health centres" per capita in the world! I asked the boss what actually goes on in a "health centre", and he said that he has absolutely no idea, but... a friend of friend told him that is was a very pleasant experience that involves a quick shower, then jump into a cold tub, then into a hot tub, and then into a room where a very nice lady gives you a massage all over. Apparently everyone is very happy at the end. With all these health centres its no wonder that Singaporean men are the healthiest in the world.

After much begging., the boss finally agreed to take me to a "Health Centre"... so, here i am enjoying the cold bath.

Then this nice lady said she was going to give me a "Soapy". A soapy? what was that i thought? I soon found out and wow, it was amazing. I felt so clean from my ears to my paws. Here's another little snap shot of me being soaped up.

I love Singapore... it's so clean and healthy.

See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.
Love Jessica