I've taken up Dragon Boat paddling which is on the smelly Singapore River.
I love the smell of all things rotting slowly, and that's why I love the Singapore River.And now a little woof woof knowledge....see
Singapore has a fresh water shortage and all the drinking water comes from Malaysia. If Malaysia was to turn off the tap, Singapore would collapse in 48 hours, and that is why the government spends the second highest per capita on military in the world. So we can invade Malaysia if Mr. Razuk forgets to turn on the water after a sumptuous Nasi Lemak long lunch, mmmm, yum, woof! So, the local P.U.B. had a round table meeting at the Killiney Kopitiam, and came up with a cunning idea;
Build a "Barrage" at the entrance to Singapore Harbour which only lets water out,
which turns the salty harbour into a fresh water harbour. Thus, doubling our fresh water supplies. Now we have 72 hours to invade Malaysia, Cool! Anyway, the salt water fish and animals aren't liking this terribly much. And that's why the Singapore river stinks at the moment...everything is dieing. mmmm, i can hardly wait to go Dragon Boating again, take in a big whiff, then a quick dog paddle before rolling in the muck washed up on the shore....its pure doggy heaven.
See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.
Love Jessica
When i was a young girl, the boss decided to take me to the fancy part of Sentosa beach. We usually go to 'Tanjong Beach Far End', where the other dogs and nice men in small swimsuits come to play. This time we were outside the Rasa Sentosa hotel, all very posh. In fact they had cordoned off one part of the public beach for Hotel customers only. Well, the boss must not of seen the sign and walked over to that end for a swim with me. Maybe it had something to do with the voluptuous women tanning themselves in their designer leopard print bikinis, who knows?
Anyway, while we were playing, i could feel my tummy rumble and i felt a little queasy...And try as i might when the boss picked me up to rest me on his hip and shoulder, as we do all the time, I let rip the runniest poo I'd ever done. A waterfall of poo cascaded down the bosses stomach, onto his board shorts, down to his knees. The boss froze, standing in front of the tanning ladies with their makeup and lipstick. The boss then smiled, turned his back and dipped us both in the water. A little wash and off we trotted. "Farewell ye poor maidens, enjoy the surf!"
See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.
Love Jessica
Before the boss got the fancy pancy blue Kangoo van for us to hoon around Singapore in, we used to have to take taxi's everywhere. Most of the time the boss would call the taxi company and have to say "medium size dog on leash" and off we'd go! I'd sit on the bosses lap, nose out the window,
saliva splashing against the taxi and back onto the bosses face. He would towel off himself and the taxi upon arrival to my favourite place in Singapore.."Tanjong Beach Far End", A place for dogs and for very toned men in small swimsuits tanning together.
We all have such a gay time at Tanjong beach.
When my boss brings one of his lady friends along, we swim right out to the floating buoys, the boss treads water and holds me up over his shoulder, then we swim back into shore. I think he's trying to show off to his lady friend. Next thing, he's rubbing an oil into her skin, how odd? Me, I prefer to come out of the surf, roll around in the sand until I'm covered from head to paw and then jump in between the boss and lady friend.... Shake and Bake!
See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.
Love Jessica
I'm so excited and i just can't hide it...woof! I was born in Adelaide (Australia) June 1st 2004 so it's my birthday today. The boss made my favourite breakfast this morning... left over spaghetti bolognese in a red wine sauce. mmmm. if only i had a glass of my Grand Ridge Gippsland Gold ale to wash it down with. Hopefully later tonight..
When i was a young pup, the boss let me try my first beer. He served it up in a large bucket, which he said was the best.. and called it "slops". My first Slops was so delicious that i had to have another, and another. The amazing thing about drinking a slops was that the flavour changed each time you drank it. mmmmm. I was enjoying it so much i began to chase my tail and skip around the beer garden in glee. I tried to "hop up" on the bosses lap and missed him completely, ending with my snout half way up one of his lady friends skirt. .. She seemed okay with this and everyone was giggling.
What was in this stuff? Soon after wards, i decided to have a lie down under the picnic tables, and slept most of the night. The boss picked me up and carried me back home over his shoulder. I woke up the next day on my little mattress next to the bosses bed. Just the three of us. I didn't touch another slops for 3 years... but that's another story..
Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me.... woof, woof!
See you soon for tummy rubs and big face licks.
Love Jessica
I've taken up Dragon Boat paddling which is on the smelly Singapore River. I love the smell of all things rotting slowly, and that's why I love the Singapore River.
